Two years ago, during a desperate battle with the eating disorder anorexia nervosa, 22-year-old Connie Inglis was admitted to the hospital—weighing about as much as an average 5-year-old.
“I didn’t really care about living, dying, whatever,” she told the BBC in an interview airing Monday. “I didn’t mind. I just wanted to lose all the weight. Everything. Because it had gotten to the point where being in hospital wasn’t good enough. The only thing that would’ve been good enough is if my heart stopped. That’s the only thing that would have satisfied my anorexia.”
Now, after three hospitalizations in nine years and living with anorexia for more than a decade, the U.K. resident is sharing her recovery, documenting how she went from being told she had just weeks to live to learning to love herself and her body.
“When I was 13 I really struggled talking about my problems, to the point where I didn’t say anything for six months because I didn’t want to talk about what was going on,” she said in the BBC interview. “The only thing I said was, ‘I’m fine.’“
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She’s speaking up now, with before-and-after transformations, unfiltered pictures of herself, and captions expressing her feelings about mental illness and self-love. “Not everyone has to look like a Victoria’s Secret model all the time,” said Inglis, who frequently uses the hashtag #positivebeatsperfect.